My Savior

Life. It’s such a complicated thing. Sometimes choices are clear and simple... like should I buy Oreo Caksters or not. Other times they are much more complex...where should I go to school? What should I do with my future? Lately, my life seems to be chalk full of the latter. Sometimes I wish that life were just spelled out for me... "Go to this school Cassidy. You should apply to this job. Cass, marry this person. Live right here." Lo and behold, that is not how the Lord works. He makes us work and fight for the answer. Sometimes those trials yield tremendous blessings, and in retrospect we are eternally grateful. If there is something that I do not question in the slightest, it is my testimony of my Lord and Savior, Jesus the Christ. He is my big brother and best friend. And heaven knows I need a best friend right now! My blog posts usually consist of all my dramatic thoughts coming forth, or my thoughts on a particular subject. Today, I want to merely bear my soul and express love for the Lord.

Thank heavens for modern day revelation. Right?! The Lord loves and hears our every petition and prayer. This knowledge I am eternally grateful for. There are times when I have been faced with difficult questions or concerns. Each time Jesus intently listens and responds by speaking peace to me. He has revealed so many amazing things to me. I love my relationship with him. I am so happy that I can divulge my inner most thoughts with absolutely NO judgment. I am grateful for his spirit being ever present in my life. He speaks to me daily about small things. Regardless of my immaturies or how often I ignore his promptings, he continues to care and aid me day to day.

He weeps with me; he rejoices with me, he's even twitter patted alongside me! No one understands me better. His love is so deep and omnipotent, that I could not to anything to make him stop loving me! What a remarkable concept. I do a LOT of stupid things. I have made a lot of people hate me. Yet, he is one that will never even so much as look down upon me. He forgives me of my shortcomings and helps me to improve.

Christ loves me so much that he gave his life for me. He suffered the most unthinkable pain and sorrow on my behalf. I cannot even begin to grasp the concept. The atonement is the most incredible event that has ever taken place. It brings tears to my eyes. The sacrifice that was made so that my sins could be forgiven was made by my big brother. I often think about the hardships that he faced in the last 24 hours of his life. Those far outreach anything that I could ever begin to imagine throughout my entire life.

 I know that he is watching me. I know that he loves me. I know that I am one among billions, yet he still knows my name. I still talk to him each day. He still blesses me exceedingly. He is my ROCK. I love him with all of my soul. I need him now, and he is here for me. Even as I lay in my bed here in Provo, Utah, he answers my prayers. He gives me best friends to call and check up on me. He gives me the scriptures with glorious tales of truth and righteousness. He gives me everything. Without him I am nothing. Thank you Lord.

Peace be unto thy soul

Life... Ha! Its never what we expect or want. I've been thrown quite a few curve balls in the last 2 months. So many emotional roller coasters that I thought I would never have to experience. But, the greatest part is that the Lord Almighty is teaching me and using every experience to talk to me and better me as a servant and daughter of Heavenly Father. Needless to say, I am still a little bit confused. I have been learning a lot about myself and the person that God wants me to be lately. Not exactly how I would have asked for the lesson to be taught, but in retrospect I am always grateful that it has happened the way it has.



I have been blessed with lots of time and examples to reflect upon what I want to allow into my life. For instance, what kind of people I want as friends, what kind of movies or media I want to allow into my life, what clothing I want to wear, what I want my vernacular to consist of, and most importantly (when the far off day arrives) what I want in a spouse. Its funny how we can learn those things in the oddest circumstances. In my reflection I often find myself discouraged, thinking that I am not enough or worthy of the Lord. But thank heavens for his servants that are listening to the Holy Ghost and have heeded to the promptings and been there for me. Those are the kind of people that I hope to be more like.



I've recently found myself extremely disillusioned and disappointed with someone that I deeply respected and loved for a very long time. Its been an interesting experience. At first, it really tore me apart. I was really shook up over the fact that I felt that I couldn't talk to this person about anything, or that they were extremely short and cutting with their words, or that they were not true to their word. Finally, I grabbed up all my tissues and ended my little pity party. This is a blessing that the Lord gave me to examine where I am at in my life and to decide what kinds of people I chose to have in my life. At first, I didn't know what I should do... then I yielded my will to the Lord. And can I say... its the best decision that I have ever made! My heart may not have been safe in the hands of someone else... but its safe with the Lord! :) He will never let me down. He gives me peace.



God loves us all. Through my seemingly miniscule trials God has comforted me as he has all of his children... Doctrine and Covenants 121:7-8 is one of my favorite scriptures of ALL time. "My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes." I love knowing that even as my heart aches, the Lord cares! Moreover, as our neighborhood has seen a fatal tragedy and one of the Lord's chosen son's passed away this last week, he too loves that boy's family! God LOVES us. He gives us peace when we need it most. I know this with all of the conviction that is in my soul.



My last few months may not have gone as I planned... but its gone as the Lord plans. I am not worried about what tomorrow holds. He has spoken peace to me! I wish everyone in the whole world could experience the peace that I feel as a result of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Luckily, I have an opportunity to share that with the world... in a mere 439 days! :) haha... (Yes, I know! I am pathetic. I DO have a countdown to the earliest time that I can serve a mission. But its the best countdown I've ever had!!)



Lastly, music is my solace. I have found that in my greatest moments of joy, or in the deepest of sorrow that there is a song that I can relate to. So, I thought I would share a few songs that calm my soul. Whatever you are going through... Peace be unto thy soul!! Surely the Lord God will carry you through whatever it is you are facing.

Spiritual Exercise

In case my blog does not express my love for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints enough, this post will solidify that stance. I LOVE being LDS. Everything about it is incredible. The day to day blessings that stem directly from gospel living exceed that of anything else that I am involved in or do. If you are reading for the first time or are not familiar with the LDS church I would invite you to visit Mormon.org. You can access my Mormon.org account here.

                                                                              

Each year I attend what’s called "Education Week" at a Brigham Young University campus. It’s a week of spiritual instruction and enlightenment pertaining to the church and all sorts of life topics. Last year I went to a lecture by Scott Anderson. Scott was my father's seminary teacher throughout his youth. During the lecture Scott talked about the principle of "Spiritual exercise". He said that he would do small things in his life to show that his spirit was in control and he was not giving in to his natural man. He would take a cold shower, or not eat a bowl of ice cream he'd just scooped himself, all to show that his spirit was stronger than carnal desires. I loved hearing about this concept and it reminded me a lot of my father. My dad is amazing! He is one of the most spiritual men that I know. He puts the Lord first in all that he does. He will do whatever it takes to please the Lord and to put His word first.

I've thought about this concept for some time and wondered how to apply it more readily into my life. This week, I received my answer. I have a friend who I respect and love with all my heart. He is a true hero and spiritual exerciser! As he and I talked he made several comments that truly manifest to me his priorities. He put the Lord FIRST. Before anything and anyone else. He had so much trust in the Lord that if a tragedy were to occur he would know it was the Lord's will for that to happen. I was so inspired by this concept. "Why can't I be that strong?" I kept thinking. I knew that if I were to give up these silly temporal desires that I would not only be blessed by the Lord, but I would also enable myself to experience true freedom. I would not be tied or bound by anything, because with God all things are possible.  

I attempted to test my spiritual strength tonight in a very small and miniscule test. While watching a movie with a group of friends I was GLUED to my phone. I made a decision; I will not check my phone till the movie is done. Simple, right?  I kept feeling obligated to look at the phone or pull up facebook, but I stopped and thought about it. My spirit was stronger than my curiosity of what might be on my phone or who called. I've decided to each day do one thing that will strengthen my spirit and show the Lord that I am stronger than my natural man. I will give up a date, or not eat any sugar, or turn off my phone all day. Just 1 thing every day to show that I am in control and can subject my will to the Lord's. I am excited to see how this can change my life. I hope to one day be as steadfast as my friend who has more trust in God than all else.

Spiritually exercise with me! Just try it out and let me know if you see a change in your life. It doesn't have to be big and grandiose, it can be small and minute. Something as silly as not checking your phone for the duration of a movie is a good start... and I already feel more empowered!

Quick Update

There is so much to say. I guess I will update you on the happenings of my life:

Robin and I after her baptism

1. One of the most excited things that has happened to me is that one of my best friends, Robin, decided to get baptized into the church! I was so stoked for her. I haven't been happier for anyone in such a long time. When she called to tell me that she'd met with the missionaries and felt that she should be baptized, it was all I could think about. She is such a strong, beautiful daughter of God and has always and a great relationship with Heavenly Father. It was about time that she feel the spirit of the church and make the choice to come into the most amazing blessing that I have been given, the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. She overcame a lot of opposition to get to this point and despite the difficulties she faced, she went through with it. I am SO proud of her. I will always admire converts to the church...


2. I had the incredible opportunity to spend a few weeks in New York City for Model United nations this March and April. It was a blast. I have never had so much fun on a vacation my entire life. I made some of the best friends and know that they will last a forever. I became very close with one particular boy, that is my new big brother. He is a great listener and we developed a report that was unprecedented for me. I am usually so slow to trust and open up to people. But he is someone I felt comfortable with immediately. I am grateful for that relationship and the friendship that we will have... forever. I also became extremely close with 2 other girls and another guy. It is so much fun to have a silly, random group to play with. We saw eachother literally everyday after being home. We even found the Utah equivalents to some of our favorite NYC attractions. The "No Malice Palace"... where I don't get kicked out! The "Shake Shack" where the lines aren't as long, a lobby... with no hour long elevator ride, etc. I feel blessed and know for a fact that this experience changed my life and will forever be remembered. More to come on this! I'll break down each wonderful day in New York. Good times...

Our team outside the UN building with our awards!

The Teen Winner and I being crowed

 3. I won Miss Idaho! Woo hoo. It is something that I have wanted to do for years. I finally achieved my dreams. And it was NOT easy. I faced so much rejection and failure before I got to this point. But, it has finally paid off. I do not do pageants "for the heck of it" or because I thoroughly enjoy pretending like I am barbie in 8 inch heels in a swimsuit. I do pageants so that I can have a voice for issues and people will listen to me, as well as for scholarship money for school. I am not your typical pageant girl. But, I would love to represent well for Idaho at nationals and show them that a girl can still be modest and beautiful. More importantly, while we are in Illinois for nationals, we are also going to Nauvoo.... which is a historic LDS town, where Joseph Smith and pioneers lived and where the Martyrdom of Hyrum and Joseph Smith occured. A very sacred and beautiful place. I cannot wait! :) I am truly blessed.



4. MY BESTEST FRIEND COMES HOME SOON. Its so surreal. I can't believe its been so long. Today I got a letter from him. Literally nothing makes me happier. Everytime I get a letter from him, I am on cloud 9 all day. I am continually edified and learn so much about myself and the gospel through our correspondance. Its been a blessing for me in all that I have learned while he has been away. I hope that I can continue to grow and progress in the gospel before he comes home and after he returns. I have missed the connection and friendship that we had before and look forward to resuming that upon his arrival home. On the other hand, I don't want him to come home yet. I know how happy the work makes him and I know how much good he is doing for the Lord. I also know how much he helps me to progress  in the gospel because of his service. I pray that he doesn't come home and realize how far behind him I am. Because if he does, he will drop me so fast and never look back! HAHA. Anyways....




To sum up my life since my last post... I am BLESSED! I have the greatest life. I may not have everything I want or an disposable income, but I am so happy. I can attribute my happiness to the goodness of the Lord. God is good!!!

I hope they call me on a mission

Missionaries! Just the word sends shivers down my spine. I LOVE missionaries. I have since I was a little girl. Both of my parents served missions for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and have subsequently always maintained a very close relationship with the missionaries in our area. It is no surprise that I have a deep seeded love for missionary work. If you are not familiar with Latter Day Saint Missionaries, I am sure you would recognize the two young men roaming your community in black suits and ties, on their bikes, with a Book of Mormon in hand. I feel privledged to know many young men and women serving missions. They are some of the strongest people I know. I would suggest talking to the missionaries if you ever see them, they are chalk full of glorius information and a beautiful message.

Recently my mind has turned to the inspiration and guidance of my best friend who is serving a mission. First off might I say, I have the greatest best friend of all time! Seriously... he is such a stud. He has given his whole heart to the Lord during his service in the mission field. During our weekly correspondance he has taught me so much about the principle of exact obedience. Obeying God's every command with 100% commitment. It was something I was lacking. I would change out of my Sunday clothes right after church, or I would justify a skirt that was right above my kneecap. But to what end? This whole life is about the Lord! Can I not subdue my natural man in small instances too? I mean, if you really think about it, sacrificing 2 years of your entire life is a big commitment, why then can we not sacrifice our social life to make sure we are honoring the sabbath 12:01 a.m. Sunday morning? Its worth it! Its the only real gift we can give back to our Father in Heaven. He has given us literally everything. We can only commit our lives to his cause in hopes that we can show our gratitude.

Then comes this principle on the mission. Exact obedience as a missionary. This includes no e-mailing those outside your family, no calling girlfriends at Christmas, no letters on non-Pdays, no speeding in your car, no long dinner appointments with members, and locking your heart. You are cheating God if you are focused on other things. I made a firm resolve when I was a little girl that I would marry an LDS Returned Missionary in the temple. This is not to say that non-RM's are not amazing people and some of my greatest friends... but I made a choice and have not looked back. When I marry that RM, if they put me before God, we are going to have serious problems. It starts on their missions. If my best friend prioritized me on his mission... we would no longer have a relationship. I am truly blessed in that regard. There is a great talk by Spencer W. Kimball titled, "Lock Your Heart". You can find the link HERE. It is a great talk by a prophet of God about where our focuses should be on our mission.

My best friend put it best when he said, " The [Lord] has given me so much. I want to give Him a gift. I want to give Him me. All of me.  All of my might, mind, and strength. And even my heart too, for just this short time..." Isn't it true? What would the world be like if we all committed to giving the Lord our "heart, might, mind and strength" for a short time? For those on the fence about serving a mission, DO IT. It will change your life. You will be blessed, so will your families, and future wives, kids, husbands, etc. For those that are preparing to serve, give it your all. Its the Lord's work, not ours.

I cannot wait to serve a mission, whether when I am 21, or with my husband when I am 65. I WILL serve my Lord almighty. Here is a video to explain a little more about missionaries and missionary service. It is the greatest work you will ever do. I cannot express my passion any more. I love the gospel of Jesus Christ, and I want the world to know!!!